Too Much Going On....

It's been quite a while since I last posted. In know, I know.... I was going to keep on top of this. I've thought about it often, but admittedly, running at the speed of life these days has allowed me to neglect many things that I shouldn't. I've promised myself and God that I would be authentic with what I say and share, so if anything I share seems like TMI, well, so be it.

Today, I am on a plane heading to NC. I'm ashamed to say it's a trip I almost didn't make. My mother is scheduled to have surgery later this week. When I was first informed of the impending surgery, I was asked by my sister if I would be "going home" for the surgery. My first reaction was, yea sure, I think I can do that. The reality of it as I processed things after getting off the phone was me thinking "there's just too much going on for me to take the time to travel to NC".

I can almost hear the "gasp" sound some of you made after reading that. How could I even hesitate about going to be with my mother for her surgery?! No, it's not that I don't love or care about her, or that we have a bad relationship/history. I've been very blessed with a loving caring family.

So then why the hesitation on my part? Good question! There were so many things that popped into my train of thought or so called logic... I've got commitments, can't afford the time away, she'll be fine without me there... Needless to say my train of thoughts was more of a train wreck than anything else!

Here's the thing. Deep down (way down deep) I knew what I should do. Instead, I was allowing the enemy to create doubt and confusion in my mind, my life, and my decision making.

Thankfully, over the past several years, I actually listened to the prompting by God to make sure there was at least one man in my life that I was in counsel with on a regular basis. Someone who I would meet with regularly, with whom I would be completely open about my thoughts, feelings and anything else in my world... No matter how uncomfortable that might be.

Oh, one more thing -- I had to be willing to listen to what they had to say. While I'm not required to follow any advice/insights they offer, I do my very best to listen, learn, and process their input very carefully. And yeah, sometimes those insights can be hard to swallow. It's those times that God usually is working through thsee men to whomp me upside the head!

So it was that my most recent meeting with one of my mentors brought about discussion of what should I do about going home. And without hesitating, he spoke in wisdom, saying there was no question as to what I should do; get myself down to NC to be there for my mom.

Yeah, yeah. I'm sure many of you are still thinking that was a no-brainer. Well, I think that's why God prompted me to share this. Because many times, we think the decisions we make, or the crossroads we come to, have simple solutions. I'm so very blessed that there are several men willing to pour into my life, sharing and discipling, even when it's not the most convenient thing to do in their busy lives.

Ultimately, I'm thankful for the opportunity to be discipled, and continue praying that I'm open to following God's promptings for me to do the same for others.